Quit Your Bitching
Let’s not kid ourselves, when it comes to landmen, the creator broke the warranty clause in the vesting deed when he made me. I’m under no illusions that there are many landmen like me anymore, because (most of them are out of work) I actually give a fuck. Most of the guys that worked for Chesapeake or some of the other big ShaleCos ran out of fucks to give a long time ago. Let’s say it could {possibly}have been 50/50 those guys lying vs their land office just not following through. It’s not a fun situation when you have to call and tell a landowner that something you promised isn’t actually going to happen, but when you’re stuck in that situation, you still have to make that call.
A lot of the landowners in South Texas got burned by those landmen that said anything just to get the deal done. I’m sure there are a handful left in the business somewhere, but I hope most of them have moved on. They got caught up in the lease grab and “forgot” to actually do their damn jobs. Almost every landowner I work with now says they would never do business with Chesapeake again. So far, knock on wood, they don’t have any complaints about my operator. It’s pretty easy to keep most of these people happy; you just answer the damn phone when they call. There have been countless times I have stepped out of a bar or restaurant to take a LO’s call. LandmanWife is used to it.
Unpaid and Undeterred: My Ongoing Battle with Ruckus Energy CEO Avi Mirman
The Backstory Many of you are already familiar with our quest to get payment from Ruckus Energy for land services we rendered for them back in 2022. Avi Mirman, the CEO of Ruckus Energy, has reached out to me personally to explain why things fell apart and how hard he tried to get everything back
Leaning In: The Power Behind the #EFT Community
In the fast paced world of the Energy Finance Twitter (#EFT) community, the journey has been nothing short of a rollercoaster – filled with highs, lows, and unexpected twists. Art Berman memes and “behave or be blocked” are about the only thing you can really rely on never changing. This community, which is a real
4th Annual NAPE Kickoff Happy Hour presented by LandmanLife
It’s that time of year again everybody, time to dust off those roundtoes and pick up your sports coat from the cleaners because NAPE starts this week! As always, (or…you know, for the past 4 years), we are hosting the NAPE Kickoff Happy Hour on Tuesday, February 6th from 5-7pm. That’s…in 2 days if you
DON'T CALL THE COPS, MAN
Most of the time the LO has a minor issue that can be handled tomorrow morning, but occasionally something has gone wrong that needs immediate attention. When I see “Joe the Rancher” calling at 7:05 pm on a Tuesday, I have no way of knowing what he’s calling about. Could be just to chat, maybe someone left a gate open, they found some trash on a lease road, or maybe one of our water transfer lines busted and flooded a County Road. If I don’t answer, I might not know until I get a call from a County Commissioner. I have always told LOs to “please give me the chance to fix it before you call anyone else.” They seem to understand what I mean, for the most part.
You want us to play ball? Gotta work with me a little bit. I would have my guys go move a fucking mountain to help out some of our LOs, because they are honest, good people. Treat me with a little respect and it’s amazing how much easier things will be between us. When you get drunk and just want to bitch, go find another (soon to be ex) wife dude. I’m not your Huckleberry, bro. Luckily, even for those assholes, I still answer the fucking phone. If it’s not urgent, or if they start going off cursing, I have hung up on these assholes plenty of times. BUT, if they call with something serious, I will do my damn job regardless of how I feel about them personally. Because like I’ve said before, I’m 150% LandmanLife.
HELP ME, HELP YOU!
Need a fence repaired? I got you. That cattle guard needs to be cleaned out? Guys will be out there first thing in the morning. Your road to the ranch house, which isn’t our lease road, needs to be bladed? I’ll have our blade driver “take a wrong turn” next week. But when I need some flowlines approved, or a sales line/SWD line/power line easement/etc, I also need you to remember these favors I’ve done along the way. Let’s be real, I’m not expecting everyone to treat me like my shit don’t stink (it does), but you can at least give me the respect due to any other human being. Want to know what happens when you’re such an outrageous asshole that you’ve pissed off almost every single person at the E&P operating your lease? Stay tuned for my upcoming story about the Lease Road, the Cow, and the Sheriff. I know we fuck shit up, that’s literally why I have a job, but let’s make things easier, quit your bitching.
