Facebook…We Have a Problem

Houston, we have a problem…for all of the fans, followers, cohorts, minions, soldiers, warm bodies, etc that have liked or visit our Facebook Page, we officially have no control over its content anymore. I am not sure how long my ability to push stories onto the page will last now that I have contacted Facebook about the issue. As usual, there is a story behind all of the drama here. Let’s break things down.

LandmanLife is a brand, a lifestyle, a story, a road trip to nowhere, and a pseudonym all wrapped up in a big drunk satirical bow. I’m not sure what brought you all here but obviously there is a reason. Facebook is a huge problem in our society, but it is also the biggest platform for advertising or spreading a message (whether it’s fake news or not).

I do not have a personal Facebook account. People used to think that was really strange, but in the past two years it’s getting fewer reactions when I say “No, I’m not on Facebook…” Honestly it seems to be older adults that have the hardest time believing that I am not on Facebook, because their experience with Facebook started after literally EVERYONE else had been allowed onto the platform for years.

The Beginning on TheFacebook

When I was a freshman in college I remember someone saying, “hey, did you hear we got a Facebook?!” I had no clue what the guy was talking about at the time, but that was back when it was TheFacebook, and schools were added one at a time. When I joined, it was a free for all and you could post or delete anything on someone else’s wall. Things got out of control, fast. A few years later it had evolved, I had grown up, and before my senior year I decided that Facebook wasn’t for me anymore.

Maybe it was the photos that friends kept posting and tagging me in. Not cool to post a pic of me passed out on the couch…or worse. Regardless, quitting Facebook was STRANGE to most people back then. I kept saying I was worried about the real world implications of having all that stupid shit on the internet, tagged to MY NAME. I joined Twitter, and was careful to keep things PG-13. After a few months I didn’t even think about Facebook anymore.

After a couple of years working, I continued to run into people that I had no other way of keeping up with besides Facebook. So I joined again. I turned off all my notifications to keep things low key. After a few weeks of keeping my privacy settings as strict as possible, they had a huge data breach. That concerned me but all of the old pictures and other bullshit from college was hopefully already gone, and I didn’t use Facebook Messenger for anything illicit. Regardless, my problems with Facebook were not just the privacy (or lack thereof).

My mother got SO upset when I did not respond to her friend request within 3 days. I continually had friends that said “hey man you missed my party.” To which I would respond that I had not gotten an invite, so therefor I did not know about it and couldn’t possibly have shown up. “I sent you an invite on Facebook!” WTF. That’s not an invite, and since I didn’t get notifications…whatever. That got me ready to quit again, but this time I had a business that I wanted to promote on Facebook. In order to do that I had to have a personal account associated with it.

LandmanLife joins Facebook

That’s where the trouble began. Setting up my business page got me thinking…maybe LandmanLife should be on Facebook too. Why not? This was still back in a time where people routinely changed their names on Facebook, so what was the problem with setting up a fake account? I didn’t see anything wrong with it, I didn’t want it associated with my personal account, and Facebook didn’t specifically prohibit it at the time. About 20 minutes later, I was up and running at www.facebook.com/landmanlife like a BOSS.

You all know that I took a few years off after I nuked the site on accident. Never occurred to me that the fake Facebook account I had set up would be an issue. I still had the login, and the email address was still valid. A couple of weeks ago when I had set the site back up, I tried to log into the Facebook account that was the creator and ONLY admin of the LandmanLife page. “This account has been disabled by Facebook. If you think this is an error, you can get more information here…” Typical.

Going down that rabbit hole gives me just one option. Provide a valid government ID accompanied with a credit card/utility bill proving to Facebook that I am a legit person. WHAT?!? Who the fuck do they think they are? We don’t even require that kind of proof to VOTE FOR PRESIDENT. Maybe this is what happened, because they deemed LandmanLife to be a “high potential reach” Page and sent a verification request that I never responded to. I’m tempted to create some fake documents, wouldn’t that just be perpetuating the legend of LandmanLife? Instead, I tried to contact Facebook about regaining control of the page. There is no way to actually contact them.

A Ship Without a Rudder

I wasn’t hacked, and even if I was, their solution is to follow a step by step guide of how to secure your account. My intellectual property wasn’t stollen, and regardless, I don’t have a registered trademark (try to steal my shit and you’ll find out how many attorneys I have on retainer specifically because of this website…thanks, Mr. TitleNazi). So what is my recourse? I fucking tweeted Facebook. A response is not expected.

I have no way of directly controlling the posts on the Facebook Page anymore. When I set up the site again, I was really surprised that WordPress had saved the API keys to push posts to the Facebook Page. I was even MORE surprised that it worked. That’s how you can see this post on the Facebook Page. Since I have tried numerous times to make Facebook aware of this issue, I do not know if they will end up shutting down the page. Fuck Facebook anyways. If you’re a fan, please subscribe to the blog on our page or find another platform to follow us on.

You Can’t Fix Stupid…Unless There’s Free Margs?

There are so many mineral and royalty scams out there I cannot even begin to count them. A lot of legitimate mineral and royalty buying companies deliberately target seniors, people with disabilities, or people that have fallen on hard times. They try to use the “we are trying to help people” angle, but they always fail the smell test. That shit pisses me off. I understand the business, downplay the asset as much as possible to get a lower price. That works unless you have someone respectable on the other side. Unfortunately most of the sellers in that market do not have proper representation. Attorneys are great when you want to file a lawsuit, but they are not your best avenue to sell something. Unless they really understand the industry and market they are trying to participate in, attorneys are going to drive away potential offers with additional stipulations, restrictions, or excessive delays. The majority of the “shady” groups in the mineral/royalty market will avoid attorneys at all cost.

I will admit, I have sold mineral assets for clients that I strongly disagreed with (due to their immediacy for selling), but have proceeded with the sale due to their insistence, despite my objections. That admission is not intended to absolve me of all guilt that I have with the mineral/royalty purchasing industry, I am simply letting you know that I have been a part of it. Setting aside your personal convictions about something is hard to do…but getting a check for it makes things easier. That’s a slippery slope. Regardless of my involvement, there are more sophisticated predators out there. A few years ago I went to an “information session” with an old friend of mine that is an oil and gas attorney. He told me that he had signed up for the deal with a +1 and it was free margaritas and fajitas for anyone that attended. The event was at some Mexican food restaurant in the middle of fucking nowhere (seriously, I work in the middle of nowhere so for me to say that, this place was out in the boonies), but hell it’s free margaritas right?!? The second we walked into the “private” room, we knew it was not going to be the type of informational session we had imagined…

Segway Tour…wow, really pulling out all the stops on that one

There were tables pushed together to create one long table on one side of the room, with a projector screen set up on a stand at the other side of the room, the projector set up in front of it along with a microphone and some speakers. Professional AV setup, instant street cred…except that my brother in law has that same equipment in his garage, so whatever. Every. Single. “Speaker” Was from Morgan Stanley. Speaker is in air quotes because they were selling their product(s). They either actively worked for Morgan Stanley, or had previously (recently) worked there. This organization has the worst website I have ever fucking seen. They call themselves “North American Royalty Owners” and would love to send LandmanLife a C&D letter for publishing the ongoings of their “private event.” Well, fuck them. Google the acronym if you want to see a website that anyone could have designed by literally writing the HTML code in their middle school computer class. Worst website I have ever seen for an “organization.” LandmanLife is more official than those jakelegs. We at least have koozies and stickers. All they have is a bullshit “certification” that is only acknowledged by (guess what) THEIR OWN ORGANIZATION.

Back in the day there was a guy that wrote here under the pseudonym TitleNazi and he was extremely critical of OEC (Orange Energy Consultants) who sent me a C&D email (LandmanLife has about 6 attorneys on retainer, they all laughed at the request to take that story down), and the AAPL (nobody cares, because…yeah). While I hope he will join us again, I have to take up that same stance against NARO. That information session would have led me into all kinds of worthless investments with extremely low (or negative) returns, but their keynote speaker was a MINERAL MANAGER. She “worked as a landman” and “knew how to speak their language to maximize your returns.” All she asked for in return was 8-10% of all revenue generated from your bonuses, royalties, or potential sales of mineral assets. In return for that she was going to need to be your financial advisor, in addition to managing your mineral assets. Your checks would all go to her, and she would then take care of investing/divesting your money. Don’t worry, her daddy has his financial planning license and sponsors her, so she’s not violating any SEC laws. Seems like a conflict of interest to me, but the morons at that information session thought I was the asshole for poking holes in her resume. Figures. I had a hard time not laughing, but in the end…Who’s the guy that says “you can’t fix stupid?”

Who the fuck would sign up for that? People. 


You can’t fix stupid.

Also, the Mexican food was shit.

The margs at least had booze in them.