Patch Rumors

Breaking News: Bryan Sheffield to Inherit New Hairline

We’ve heard unsubstantiated rumors that Bryan Sheffield, son of Scott Sheffield, is the heir apparent to a new hairline. Due to complications arising from the stress of selling his company to his father for $4.5 billion, Bryan’s hairline receded further into obscurity. Mr. Sheffield apparently told a close associate once, “You know, just like my …

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Nimblephatty Enterprises Mobs Rig in South Louisiana

Rumor is circulating that @nimblephatty and The Ladle Man have mobilized a barge rig in to snake infested waters of South Louisiana. Charles Patterson Yates (“Chuck Yates”), former banker and lifelong visionary, decided the time was right to get back in the game. “While babysitting 300 internet friends at my party last weekend, I met …

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The Best Source of Rumors from the Patch

When you hear a rumor from a buddy about something that sounds too wild to be true, only to find out a couple of days/weeks/months later that “holy shit, it WAS true!” That’s the kind of shit we’re here for.

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