Breaking News: Bryan Sheffield to Inherit New Hairline

We’ve heard unsubstantiated rumors that Bryan Sheffield, son of Scott Sheffield, is the heir apparent to a new hairline. Due to complications arising from the stress of selling his company to his father for $4.5 billion, Bryan’s hairline receded further into obscurity. Mr. Sheffield apparently told a close associate once, “You know, just like my company, I inherited my hair line from my granddaddy, and I hope that someday we can make the Sheffield hairline great again!”

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